5 Ways To Get Back At Your Ex

Ok, the first thing and the most asked question of me when I told a few select people about the October newsletter was, 'Why is your October issue about this?', 'What does this have to do with self-help products or improving myself?' Being a person that’s straight to the point, I have two reasons. First, most people can identify with having an ex. Whether it’s an ex wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, boss, co worker etc. The second reason is that if you put these tips that I share with you into practice you will be improving your lives while making continued strides on your personal growth. With this in mind let’s get to it.

Let’s start with the understanding that your ex wife, husband, boss, girlfriend, boyfriend etc doesn’t want to see you do well in life. I know there are people out there that are still friends with their ex and have a wonderful relationship. I understand there are people out there that are best of friends and that their ex really wishes them well and wants to see them succeed in life. This situation does exist. For most of us (including myself) our ex may or may not hate our guts but seeing us do well in life without them, well let’s say it’s not at the top of their list.

With this in mind, here are 5 ways to get back at your ex while improving yourself at the same time.

1. Stay Busy - The last thing you want to do is give your ex (or anyone else) the impression that you have nothing going on in your life after your relationship with him/her ended. Do something, volunteer, get involved with your child’s school, take up a hobby, or get involved in your local community. Anything that takes your mind off the relationship and helps you grow as a person is ideal. You will show them that life does go on without them and the world still keeps turning.

2. Get in Shape - If you don't think that impressions count for a whole lot, think again. What impression do you get when you see someone that’s in good shape, dressed nicely and that’s well groomed? If you are like most people you get the impression that this person is successful and doing well in life. Even if they aren’t you don’t know that, and if your ex is human he/she wouldn’t know it either. By being well groomed, dressed nicely, and being in shape we are doing a lot for our self confidence, it makes us feel better about ourselves and we are sending a message to our ex and the world that we are in control of our lives.

3. Be the Adult - On those occasions when you have to deal with your ex, be adult about it and carry on your conversation or meetings in an adult manor. Don’t pine on about how wrong he/she was in the relationship or resort to name calling. Don’t talk about the relationship at all, and if he/she does, tactfully steer them back to the point of the conversation. If you pine on and on, resort to name calling or start talking about the fond memories the both of you had you are defeating the purpose. Remember, you're supposed to be getting on with your life not stooping to your ex’s level and traveling down memory lane. This is not the get back together hour and I am not Dr. Phil.

4. Educate Yourself - You are never to old or young to learn something. I don’t have to tell you about the value of education. Constantly strive to improve yourself by learning something new. If you haven’t finished your education or earned that certificate now would be a great time to do this. This isn’t just staying busy, this is acquiring knowledge that will last a lifetime. There are many opportunities to do this and with the birth of the Internet education is at your fingertips. By educating yourself your ex will see that you are doing something positive with your life, and believe me, for the most part he/she isn’t thrilled about it either.

5. Stay Focused - Your mission, your focus is to better yourself as a person, enrich your life and as the title of this issue states: Get Back at your Ex. You can not do this if you are not focused. Instead of focusing on the negative parts of the relationship or your ex, focus on the positive parts of moving on. If you have to dwell on something, dwell on the positive aspects of life without your ex (and there are some). You know the good thing about all of this is you are not really focusing on getting back at your ex. By staying busy, getting in shape, being the adult, educating yourself and staying focused you are improving yourself day by day. Yes, your ex will see this in you and they won’t like it, I say so what do you really care?

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